Please release the press release

Last week the CSIRO dissed the Federal Government’s climate change policy. CSIRO is an acronym for the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation. What would they know? More than likely they are scientists. Ha! Idiots! White coat stupids! What dickheads!

The ABC is an acronym for Actual Bastard Communists.

The ABC reported: In response to questions about the CSIRO’s comments, a spokesman for Environment Minister Greg Hunt told the ABC: “We remain extremely confident we’ll achieve our targets and achieve them easily.

Please release the press release. Catastrophe avoided. Thank Christ.

This is a government where politics trumps science. Skullface has removed the ‘science experiment’ from Cabinet. No Minister for Science. Thank Christ. Let the rest of the world grapple with the periodic tables. We are Australia. Out on the patio, we sit.

I’m old enough to remember when government ministers were actually ministers ‘for’ the departments they headed. Minister for the Environment, for example, was a Minister for the Environment.

Hilarious. Please bring me Bony Abbott and the old testament, and a glass of water.

Malcolm -in-the-Middle Turnbull has strayed beyond his portfolio as Minister for Copper Communication this week to flay the ‘vicious ingratitude’ of artists who don’t want to display their works in the Manus Island concentration camp.

Please release the press release: Cultured Person Victim of Artists’ Activism.

What a typical, harbour-view Eastern suburbs sook.

‘We want to stand in white rooms drinking champagne, we do, but if artists start talking back at us well I just hope they realise we might stop buying their art,’ Minister Turnbull said in a hideous checked shirt.

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But is it art? Do they support mandatory detention?

Pasty, ill-looking George Brandis, Minister against the Arts, weighed in weightily.

‘Look, artists are entitled to make their so-called art but I’ll be fucked with a rubber hose before I let them upset the cultured rich people of Sydney. Rich people, big industry, political donors, tobacco, miners, spivs, the coalition government – these are the artists now.

‘It’s all very well to take heroin and slap some paint on a canvas or hoist a cow up on a pulley. Who cares?

‘I think the Australian public is crying out for bias and bitterness,’ Minister Brandis said.

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