strange optics

I was in Cuppa getting a coffee and misread the tabloid trash Daily Telegraph banner as the Daily Battlegraph. I don’t know why my eyesight failed but it was like an x-ray. All of their blather was suddenly revealed, all their angry secret code. They were bullshitting on about the brilliance of the conservative budget. Privatise everything and use the money to build more roads. Hapless and hopeless beyond words. Worse than hopeless; tipping money into the coffers of their slush fund supporters.

Corrupt conservatism. Is a worse combination possible? (Hint: no.)

The Daily Battlegraph pitched this larceny as a win for ‘The West’. Their research lets them know that most of their readers live out in The West. From their city bunker they regard these readers as fodder and sods. Hilariously, other research shows that those same readers mistrust everything they read in the Daily Battlegraph except for the NRL coverage. Go the Blues!

The last election backed up that research. No-one in The West voted for the conservative crooks in spite of the Battlegraph trying to foment outrage at a working class Gillard government. Fatty O’Barrell can’t remember drinking that Grange. No Battlegraph rugby readers can remember drinking it either.

Then I walked past a ticker tape of the news and misread that Kanye had killed random people in a coastal town. I vaguely knew he had just married another K – a pretty PR reflection, Narcissus, a vacant black hole – so this was shocking to me. As I got nearer to the ticker tape I realised it was Kenya, not Kanye.

And then I misread that ‘our’ government had decided East Jerusalem was now ‘disputed’ rather than ‘occupied’. Cane toad Brandis is surely the most pompous, incompetent Attorney General in the history of Federation. He has mishandled and mismanaged every issue that has come vaguely within his bloated, poisonous sphere. Hit him with a golf club, I say. Splatter his considerable guts on the lawn. He demeans and embarrasses Australia every day that he bloats and croaks.

At least the High Court – beyond politics – has banned the offense of sending Christian ‘chaplains’ into our schools. Well-meaning bigots should be confined to the cold corridors of Catholic institutions where they can prey on their students with appalling and aroused confidence.

Tony Abbott wants them back in public schools.

Good grief. Good god. So does Labor. We never actually move on.

Strange days indeed.

Same as it ever was. This is not my beautiful house.

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