love is thicker than forget

In our tumble-up, fall-down house drinking is one of the regimes of our love.

Whoever pours the Friday margaritas offers first choice of glass to the other. If you don’t pour equally you get the glass less full. Or possibly the one with the crappier salt rim. It’s a fine thing, our love, but fair.

In the jumbled-up cupboard of wine glasses we have some with stems and some without stems. Side-by-side on the table it’s hard to tell which glass is half-fuller.

‘My wine is nearer to the ceiling but it doesn’t mean I have more than you,’ I explain stem technology before dinner. We tilt and clink and talk and don’t care.

Love is a thing.

A skin thing. Word thing. Laugh thing. Sad thing.

A friend was dating a marriage counsellor a while back (it didn’t last) and she asked us what was the secret to a successful relationship.

‘A vase of red flowers.’


‘Move. Get away from where life put you.’

‘Get drunk.’

‘Talk about sex, baby. And do it your way.’

‘Massage one another often. Heads are often ignored. Don’t ignore them. If your partner is sitting in a chair massage their brain. It hardwired makes them love you.’

‘Dance. Together and alone.’

‘Never eat dinner in front of the television.’

‘Drink a glass of whiskey (double malt) at 10pm.’


‘Have a garden and plant and play in it. Don’t use gloves.’ (But wash your hands before eating or vomit afterwards.)

‘Have picnics.’

‘Listen to all kinds of music and then leave the vinyl albums lying out of their sleeves on every flat surface until you finally put them away three days later. (I know albums are not ‘all kinds of music’ and people don’t know what sleeves are but come with me.)

‘Come with me.’


‘Get a place with a bath.’

‘Never let the sun set on an argument. Except when she’s wrong. In which case she can eat shit and die.’

‘Laugh a lot, often drunk or stoned when things are obviously hilarious.’

‘Tell each other how you are feeling. Lovers aren’t mind readers.’

‘Read poems to each other now and then.’

Here’s one to start with. It is a sublime, partly incapable, perfect stab at love by e.e.cummings

     love is more thicker than forget

     more thinner than recall

     more seldom than a wave is wet

     more frequent than to fail

     it is most mad and moonly

     and less it shall unbe

     than all the sea which only

     is deeper than the sea

     love is less always than to win

     less never than alive

     less bigger than the least begin

     less littler than forgive

     it is most sane and sunly

     and more it cannot die

     than all the sky which only

     is higher than the sky.

     I don’t know the secret to a successful relationship but I’m glad I know it.


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